“The people who showed up when my dad died are my church”

February 1, 2021

 Scripture

Then he went home; and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.” …. Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him; and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.” And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:20,21, 31-35 NRSV)

“The people who showed up when my dad died are my church”

For a few years that was my response when people asked what church I attended. Those who came to offer friendship and support were the community of faith that mattered to me, not what franchise we happened to attend. They were an expanded family of care and support for our family.

Jesus’ mother Mary was an early expression of helicopter parenting. Our relationship with family can be confusing – my best efforts to express support or concern may be met with eye rolls from my adult kids.  And it’s possible Jesus’ eyes rolled when someone said “Your mom is outside and wants a quiet word”.

Her neighbours were saying her son was nuts and she thought it was time to get him in hand – we all struggle with handling the radical actions of Jesus, but it would have been tough for her. Jesus knew that his true family was much broader than his physical family. But on the cross said to his friend John “here is your mother”. He still cared for her as a son.  

I’m fortunate that my brother is also my “brother” in this broader sense. In these restricted times it’s a rich source of comfort and service to engage those who are our broader family -we need each other. Those with whom we share our inner lives and help us do what God desires are our real brothers and sisters.

A Prayer for Today

O Jesus, misunderstood by your mother, help us to understand you better and your vision for family relationships outside our normal perspective. Help us give and receive love in a generous and healthy way as we navigate impatience, grief and frustration with the restrictions on our lives. Give us freedom to see family in surprising places …. For Jesus’ sake.