Fear & Confusion

April 12, 2021

Scripture

When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” …. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish.  (John 21:9-13 NRSV)

Fear & Confusion

It’s ten days since Good Friday and many of us are confused, anxious and maybe angry with all the shifts in circumstances around us since then. Around ten days after his crucifixion, Jesus’ friends were still figuring out what it all meant and shared much confusion and fear – in spite of his appearing physically to them and offering them words of peace. 

It’s at that ten-day mark Jesus appears on the shore of a lake cooking fish and bread. Led by Peter a group of seven disciples had gone back to the location and vocation they knew – fishing from their home waters. Some of us submerge or escape our emotions with activity, expressions of frustrated opinion or other forms of self-medication. I’m no different but there is one part of the story on the seashore I am attracted to today.

Jesus goes from person to person serving breakfast. The only way these fishers can receive what is offered is by holding out their hands – the posture of the supplicant and recipient. Jesus prepared nourishment for them, served it but it took open receptivity to benefit from his kindness.

The one thing I realize I miss about being physically present in my local Anglican church is going forward for the Eucharist, kneeling and holding out my hands for the bread and wine – being a supplicant. I’m a control guy and it’s easy to point fingers and have strong judgments when I’m standing, self-contained and observing others.

The posture of the supplicant softens me to being open to the shared struggle of the others kneeling with me, reminds me of my need for forgiveness and the nourishment that only Christ can provide. We still need to engage the issues of the day but kneeling before the kindness of God in Christ and receiving the help and grace we need in our private places is a great antidote to anxiety, uncertainty and anger.

A Prayer for Today

God of Kindness, we fall silent and remember him who came because words were not enough. Setting our wisdom, our will, our words aside, and emptying our hearts, and bringing nothing in our hands, we yearn for the healing, the holding, the accepting, the forgiving which Christ alone can offer. As you heal, hold, accept and forgive us, may we serve others in the same spirit …. For Jesus’ sake